I’ve been watching This Is Us on Netflix, and as expected it pulls the heartstrings. For me personally, it really hits home. I too lost my love unexpectedly, and the force of that impact still reverberates every day.
Every day the kids do something that I want to share with him. Every day I look at Tristan and see his dad. I see Alyx, and want to share with him how amazing she is.
I miss him terribly.
Going alone is hard, but it’s my choice. I wanted this little family. But at the end of the day, I miss having a companion to lean against.
The demands of my children exhaust me, but yet fulfill me. I have to take the burden of both on my shoulders. It’s a task I am willing to take on, gladly.
However, it’s exhausting taking it on myself. No peer to have my back. The day to day figuring out their independent schedules, along with my job and life responsibilities is ridiculously hard without a peer, let alone loved one to be a partner with.
I’m tired. I love them. And I have so much more love to give another. I’d love to have a companion in this quest of mine.
Unfortunately, I’m alone, scared, scarred, but hopeful.
Hoping that Myke will help me find closure, and hopefully someone who can love me back as fiercely as I loved him.