This week, I had the honor of sharing my story of how I turned loss into strength in a guest post published on A Purpose In Pain. Sam has a beautiful blog that shares stories to help others feel less alone in theirs. Sam says “I know that life can be full of the unexpected but it can also be so beautiful.”
This has always been my goal, to help others going through life’s difficulties find inspiration in their lives. Check out an excerpt from my post below.
Path of Grief
Turning Loss Into Strength As A Single Parent
When my son was 2 1/2 years old, his father suddenly died, leaving me a widowed parent. It was unbelievably devastating. He was my soulmate. We still had so many unfinished plans, including our intention to have another child. Now, I had to figure out how to turn loss into strength as a single parent. I needed to find the intersection of grief and love.
We were planning on calling our kids “The Danger Squad.” Tristan, as the eldest, was to be named after the best romantic knight ever. Alexander/ra was to be named after the ancient conqueror. Both kids were to have the same middle name of Danger.
My husband gone, our dream of having two children seemed dead too.
Life Turned Instantly
The weekend when he was in the hospital in an induced coma, an army of friends stormed my apartment to keep vigil with me – or maybe to keep vigil ON me. There was a lot of booze, and a lot of stories and laughter in between the crying. They cried – I couldn’t. I was in shock, unable to feel much of anything. Just grateful that there was this army of stalwart soldiers to keep me upright.
As it became apparent that he would not recover from his cardiac arrest, that he was truly brain-dead, these friends rallied. They started a GoFundMe account and opened a Food Train to deliver handmade meals for my son and I. They were there at the hospital when we turned off the machines, staying by me as I held my husband’s cold hand, whispering how proud I was of him. I could hear them crying in the background, when all I could be aware of was the fullness of how much I loved my soulmate.
After that, life felt like a series of motions.
Turn Loss Into Strength
I went about doing all of the administrative work death requires. His belongings were all assembled and categorized; kept, dumped or donated. I bundled up the clothes that screamed his style, smelt them deeply, and then stuffed them into a bag to keep for later – it was important to me to align myself to this new life, even though my heart was breaking. I couldn’t break down, I needed to adapt to this whole life change. And accept who I was now.
As a widowed, solo parent, I needed to learn how to turn loss into strength.